Paydays of Our Lives - Online Cash Advance Service

Online Cash Advance Service - KIDNAPPED!

The horror!

It was late at night when Consuela Gauthier sat alone before a computer looking for an online cash advance service. She needed out, and she got out by extremely unexpected means - kidnapped by escaped convict/scorned lover Andoird Love Byrnes! Through the window he took her, out into the night with nary a sound or a clue to follow - save the computer screen, still glowing the next morning as Peter Van Pants walks into his office.

The curiosity of an online cash advance service

Peter walked around the room three times - a Van Pants morning tradition - slowly plodding and reading the newspaper. When finished, he stretched, took a long sip from his coffee, and sat down at his computer to see something extremely strange - an advertisement for an online cash advance service:

Need Money In a Flash?

GRAB THAT CASH!

The nation's leading online cash advance service

Fast Cash Dash!

brought to you by Cash Money Honeys.

Peter looks around dumbfounded, sees the broken window, the streaks of blood on the razor shards - something was terribly, terribly wrong. He turned back to the computer, hit the "back" button and immediately dropped his coffee to the floor. An application. An unknown online cash advance service. Consuela's name and address attached to the online form!

BEAU BRITS! I'LL GET YOU FOR THIS!

It was just like Beau to create a faux online cash advance service to lure away Peter's beloved Consuela, or at least t find out her exact location and come in, grab her lustily, and create the false impression of a kidnapping. To the Brit's household he ran, panting, enraged, screaming his enemy's name through the streets. " Beau! Beau! You dastardly coward! I know it was you who offered my lovely that online cash advance service ! I know it was you!" But it wasn't him. Peter found Beau passed out on the living room couch. Almost fully naked. Covered in love sonnets for his lost Consuela.

Rousing the love struck beast

Peter moves to wake Beau up, throwing water on him, propping him upright.

- Wake up fool! Consuela's been kidnapped by someone posing as an online cash advance service.

- Consuela! Oh, that name is violent. Thorns! Knives! Fire in my soul! Consuela - why? Why do you torment me forever with your lusting swagger, your thirst for the online cash advance service!

Peter takes a long time to rouse the wounded beefcake, but eventually Beau is awakened. And eventually he learns of the kidnapping, and hears Peter's recollection of the online cash advance service, and instantly he is aware that only one person had such capability, such violent streaks of Internet piracy and the capability create such an online rouse. A hitman - well, a hit woman actually. The twins! Jessi! The twin Jessi has our beloved Consuela!